I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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