where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
