I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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