Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
