Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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