Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
