If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
