i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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