this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
