you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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