eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
