He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
