it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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