you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Randomize
