I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
