worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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