im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
