Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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