the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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