forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
