Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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