I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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