You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize