Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
