I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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