why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
