Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize