Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we have officially lost it.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
