She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
