Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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