hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
