so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
