I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
