that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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