Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
