omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He passed out mid-signature
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
