i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
