Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize