I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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