idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
