from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It was confusing and full of hummus
He told me they were just razor bumps!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
