so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
