I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
