If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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