awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
im on a boat
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