If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
