I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
