soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
