i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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