And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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