Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
