If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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