i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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