I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
