After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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