im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
