um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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