I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
