scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
