under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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